A focus here and there

(Stinging) Nettle, Urtica dioica.

Seedhead of my Pincushion flowers, or Pink mist as the Scabious is also called. I'll collect the seed as soon as the heads have dried out, because I'd love to see them in the back too, next year.

And, as usual, Blogger rotates the photos I've uploaded. (and provide no opportunity to edit this!)




Bittercress? Some kind of weed very similar to it, anyway. Tiny and beautiful white flowers, and growing everywhere.


Wren, Troglodytes troglodytes.

Hoverfly? on the raised veggie bed netting in Bantry's Rehabcare garden.

House Sparrow, Passer domesticus, in the garden

Herring Gull, Larus argentatus

I have not been able to get out since last month. I'm still in that "dark memories" place where I get lost among images of Francis and then fail to do something concrete. Like going out yesterday when it was probably the last nice day of summer! And that is where having a dog would be really useful; a dog would force me to go out onto the road again. At first I was thinking of getting a rescue dog, but now I'm thinking seriously of getting a service or assistance dog with the Dogs for the Disabled, where they train puppies into dogs which can do amazing things for you. Helping carrying home shopping, helping you undress, getting the post, etc.
I've printed out the form, which is on my desk.
I've had three dogs before, and although we've always had cats, I do miss the contact with a dog when going for a walk.
Wild Ivy flowers, converting into its black fruit.

Another trip down memory lane.

Ragged Robin, Lychnis flos-cuculi

The Dutch name, Koekoek's bloem (Cuckoo flower) must be derived from the Latin name, Lychnis flos-cuculi, for this lovely flower. My latin is none to speak of (what I know is what I "pick up" from the names in natural history.)

Here you see them growing among the Buttercups along the road.


This one I've not figured out yet, and any help in identifying it is very welcome. Due to Francis' death I'm very slow in getting into spring/summer mode. It all seems to pass me by (still!) with me not really getting into gear yet.



Germander Speedwell, Veronica camaedrys

Red Clover, Trifolium pratense


Three-cornered Garlic, Allium triguetrum

Dog Rose, Rosa canina

It was Frouke, my cousin from Holland, spent a week here, recently, and she painted the bathroom (soft violet) and the livingroom in white. Plus helping me to sort out a lot of Francis' stuff in the bedroom and his workroom. Which I've reclaimed again. And this walk we did together too. To get me into the mood again of getting out onto the road.
So hopefully I'll be getting back to doing that and posting regularly again.

Taking Photos in-between the tears.

I was doing really bad when I took these photos at Rehabcare; kept crying, and was unable to take part in the group. (and haven't stopped since, or so it seems)

The Sweet Pea in this garden has been growing well, and I'm looking for a lot more tendril-raindroplets macro photography, this summer. The kind of photos Francis loved.

I'm still doing very bad. I had hoped that by now, 9 weeks after Francis' death, but in fact I'm going downhill, I feel. I had a second session with Ann, a lovely councillor who comes to Rehabcare. Even so, I just cannot stop crying. I am so fed up with everything.

Frouke, my dear, 1st, cousin from The Hague, phoned this evening, to check to see how I'm doing and also to tell me that she is thinking of coming in May for 1 week or so. Talking already about walls, ready to be painted. So that really made me happy. Never mind the long wait till then. I thought it would be June or July, before she'd be able to get time off from work.





Tiny spider in the house, got it off the wall for a picture.
.


Small Magpie Moth, Idaea biselata


Primroses in Bantry


A flowering shrub


bittercress.


Camellia


Fly on Daffodil




male Chaffinch, Fringilla coelebs
Waiting for the others to make room on the path at the backdoor, where the food is scattered these days.

A Total Sense of Loss

I'm sorry not to have posted recently. The fact is that I was hardly able to take any photos during these weeks.
These pictures are my first attempt in finding myself again. Francis used to love the close-up photos I would take during, and after rain. And here in Ireland we have no shortage of those.


Francis cannot enjoy my photos any more. The loving and caring Francis has left this earth five weeks ago. I myself am in a state of in-between. not only have I lost my best friend, mate and soul-mate, but my carer too. And until I will get a PA for a fixed time per week, (Personal Assistant) now I just get 30 minutes at night. It is very strange to go from 24/7 to 30 minutes a night!

The trouble is that well meaning people keeps telling me things like: "Give it time", or similar clichés.
How will I keep myself going during all that time?







Bittercress.










On top of Francis dying, Niña has been adopted by a couple 10km from here. She was confused very much, and demanding too much from me. on top of that she brought home her avian catches. Together, Francis and I had managed to curb this by keeping her inside. On my own, it was soon clear that I was unable to lock her into rooms, whenever she did not want to. With only one hand available for operating my wheels, there are no ready fingers to carry her. (against her will)
It all went very fast.