Wednesday, March 2, 2011
A Total Sense of Loss
I'm sorry not to have posted recently. The fact is that I was hardly able to take any photos during these weeks.
These pictures are my first attempt in finding myself again. Francis used to love the close-up photos I would take during, and after rain. And here in Ireland we have no shortage of those.
Francis cannot enjoy my photos any more. The loving and caring Francis has left this earth five weeks ago. I myself am in a state of in-between. not only have I lost my best friend, mate and soul-mate, but my carer too. And until I will get a PA for a fixed time per week, (Personal Assistant) now I just get 30 minutes at night. It is very strange to go from 24/7 to 30 minutes a night!
The trouble is that well meaning people keeps telling me things like: "Give it time", or similar clichés.
How will I keep myself going during all that time?
On top of Francis dying, Niña has been adopted by a couple 10km from here. She was confused very much, and demanding too much from me. on top of that she brought home her avian catches. Together, Francis and I had managed to curb this by keeping her inside. On my own, it was soon clear that I was unable to lock her into rooms, whenever she did not want to. With only one hand available for operating my wheels, there are no ready fingers to carry her. (against her will)
It all went very fast.