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Saturday, April 2, 2011

Taking Photos in-between the tears.

I was doing really bad when I took these photos at Rehabcare; kept crying, and was unable to take part in the group. (and haven't stopped since, or so it seems)

The Sweet Pea in this garden has been growing well, and I'm looking for a lot more tendril-raindroplets macro photography, this summer. The kind of photos Francis loved.

I'm still doing very bad. I had hoped that by now, 9 weeks after Francis' death, but in fact I'm going downhill, I feel. I had a second session with Ann, a lovely councillor who comes to Rehabcare. Even so, I just cannot stop crying. I am so fed up with everything.

Frouke, my dear, 1st, cousin from The Hague, phoned this evening, to check to see how I'm doing and also to tell me that she is thinking of coming in May for 1 week or so. Talking already about walls, ready to be painted. So that really made me happy. Never mind the long wait till then. I thought it would be June or July, before she'd be able to get time off from work.

Tiny spider in the house, got it off the wall for a picture.

Small Magpie Moth, Idaea biselata

Primroses in Bantry

A flowering shrub



Fly on Daffodil

male Chaffinch, Fringilla coelebs
Waiting for the others to make room on the path at the backdoor, where the food is scattered these days.


  1. My dear Yoke, it takes time to get over the loss of a loved one. It's only been nine weeks and believe it or not the saying that time heals all things is true. My heart goes out to you. I can't imagine the pain that you are going through at this time.

    Your pictures are lovely. I particularly like the flowers. You are so far ahead of us with regards to the weather. Nothing has popped it's head up out of the ground here yet.

  2. They are beautiful Yoke, brilliant flowers.

  3. Hi Yoke, don't be afraid of crying, don't be afraid in grief, remembering is all that now matters, and crying is all part of the process. Francis was obviously very close to you and it takes a long time to heal such attachments. Although I had split with my ex partner 2 years ago, when she died in March it really affected me. Luckily my new partner understood my grief. I think it was you who said the soul returns as a butterfly (if not apologies). Thelma always loved Brimstones and recently they've been everywhere, I like to think she's enjoying the sun once again. Take care. Andrew

  4. Thank you, Crow. I'm trying my best at coping with life as a single entity, but after 30 years together this is incredibly difficult. And I hate it the time ahead of me.

    Bob, I try to get into the spirit of spring and summer again. And with it the photography of those beautiful spring flowers.

    Andrew, yes it was me who told you about those Butterflies and the souls of the departed. The Brimstone is a beautiful Butterfly and Thelma would be happy that you recognise her when you see the Brimstones! I'm looking forward to see her photos on your blog this summer! And the fact that you split with Thelma did not make much difference; you still cared for her. And I am happy for you that your new love can support you in your grief.


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